I have been quiet and slow to speak regarding the death of Prince Rogers Nelson….. I am still in shock and disbelief. Each morning I wake hoping to find that I have just been living a bad dream…… No such luck yet.
Most that know or even know of me, know that I absolutely ADORE Prince. My family and closest friends know that Prince and I go way back and that I am more than just a fan.
Call me crazy if you will, but his music, movies, articles, and everything Prince was everything to me. For 30+ years I have loved that man and suddenly out of nowhere he is gone? I still can’t quite wrap my mind around that.
My relationship with Prince started when I was 13, maybe 14. I first came to like him through hearing my mama play his records from time to time. Few know that I was a troubled teen and never really felt that I fit in anywhere.
Princes music taught me a lot of things, took me away from what I needed to escape, and made the impossible bearable. He was my coping mechanism and therapy.
I often hated not knowing my biological father and felt that not only was something missing in my life, but that I was unwanted, so in turn unloveable. I learned that Prince had troubles in the home as well as a teen. We saw glimpses of it in Purple Rain.
He taught me that true love transcends who or what we are or are not. That love doesn’t hurt, it doesn’t lie, it is not gender specific, it forgives wrongs, and will even sacrifice its own life for you. ” I’m not a woman, I’m not a man, I am something that you’ll never understand. I’ll never beat you, I’ll never lie, and if you’re evil I’ll forgive you by and by. Cause you, I will die for you…..”
Though my parents and I often didn’t see eye to eye, Easter Sunday 1985, my mama and daddy took my sister Joi and I to see Prince perform in the Orange Bowl. That PURPLE RAIN tour stop, showed me that my parents loved me and supported my likes in a time where my teenaged mind wasn’t too sure. We had a great time as a family, Prince was our bond in that moment in time.
” I don’t care where we go, I don’t care what we do, I don’t care pretty baby just take me with you.” That song helped me to know that when you find that right special someone that it won’t really matter how or what just as long as you are with the person that you love.
“Sometimes it snows in April
Sometimes I feel so bad, so bad
Sometimes I wish that life was never ending,
But all good things, they say, never last” SOMETIMES IT SNOWS IN APRIL reminds me of the sweetest woman that I have ever known, my grandma, Polly Ward. My grandma left this earth to be with the Lord April of 2013. It felt like it snowed that day in my heart.
He made me feel beautiful because according to him I had the “look”, I was a ” beautiful one”, He would forever “Adore” me even if we had a “strange relationship”, “if he was my girlfriend”, he would be “forever in my life”.
Oh “sign of the times” was one of my first albums by Prince and I played it over and over in my record player and memorized each and every word within 3 days.
Prince was a wonderful musician and inspired me to want to play as many instruments as I possibly could. So during my Jr high days I took keyboarding, guitar, and violin lessons and poked around with the flute. I sang in the choir and even a few Solo parts. ( yes I can still sing). I thank him for the motivation to learn those things I think it made me a more well rounded person.
I could go on and on about my guy Prince. But as I lay here writing with tears streaming down my cheeks, I realize that I’m still not ready. I guess that’s why I still haven’t turned on the tv or listened to the radio in six days. I don’t want to hear anything negative about him or his life.
I just wanted to share a little of just how much Prince Rogers Nelson meant to me…
I will forever love you and allow your music to enhance and heal my life. Sleep well and in peace MY PRINCE. 💜