Conversation with my Heavenly Father:
Me: Now Lord, Your word says that you will never leave us or forsake us, right?
Him: Never have never will…
Me: You also said that You would never put more on me than I can bear without providing a way from under it , right?
Me: You said you will keep me in the midst of the fiery furnace like you did Shadrach, meshak, and abindigo? (Lord you know I can’t spell their names)
Him: Yes I am with you in the fire, and the spelling doesn’t matter.
Me: Lord, things are looking REALLY lonely. Seems like my family and friends are all too busy to care about what I’m going through!
Me: Lord, my knees are buckling, my arms are shaking, I don’t think I can take another step. I’m tired!
Me: Things are falling apart all around me. Seems like on every side.
Me: (In tears) Jesus, why aren’t you answering?? You said your Word could not return to you void!! You aren’t saying anything!! Why God?? Why?
Him: (yet still silent)
Me: What about that love God?? You know the one that supposed to make people love despite of… I can’t remember what it’s called. But whatever it is people don’t love me or they don’t love me right.
Me: Yes that’s it! Where is that when I need it?
(Silence fills the room and hangs there for a long while)
Him: (breaking the silence)
Are you finished?
(All I can do is nod yes through my tears)
Him: My child, dry your tears and hear me clearly. I have never nor will I ever leave your side. I am with you in happiness and sadness.
It is me that catches every tear of sadness and recycles them to tears of joy.
It is me that mends your heart every time someone pinches a piece off as you wear it on your sleeve.
It is me that rocks you to sleep as you fight it in worry about tomorrow.
Yes your friends and families may seem to be distant. I need you alone so I can refuel you when you are running on fumes. You require a different octane.
Your legs are shaking, yes I know. Sometimes to build muscle you have to break it down to failure to find out your full potential.
Yes things are falling apart around you and it’s uncomfortable on every side. Pressure from everywhere. But let me tell you something about pressure, it can cause various results because of its presence… it most certainly can build up and burst pipes causing catastrophic damage. YET At the same time that same pressure can produce the most durable, sought after, beautiful substances known to man!! A DIAMOND!!
So my daughter know that I love you, know that I will never leave you, know I see you trembling and I know I that you are uncomfortable… BUT Tracy sit still and know that I AM God that loves you beyond measure and circumstance. I see you as you were, as you are, and you what you have yet to become.
You are the most durable of your peers and the most radiant. The pressure will soon release and you will then shine as the true gem that you are!!!