Upside down… right side up… sideways? These days I just don’t know. Seems that I can’t get my bearings. I don’t know if I am coming or going. Do I start or do I stop?
This life has become lonely, isolated.
Much like trash I feel discarded and forgotten about. Like a discarded toy. No more like a soiled paper plate.
As if my value was solely in my ability to support what was needed to nourish and sustain others.
Now that I need nourishment, I am invisible. And when I dare ask for help, it is done begrudgingly.
When I need the love and support of those that claimed that they would never leave or stop loving me, I am ignored.
When in turn I am quiet, it’s said that I have an attitude. No, I have a need. God forbid that! But I do!
I need to not be treated like I have the plague, like I am a leper, like I am trash!!
I want normal conversation, I need to be hugged, to have my hand held, to be told that everything is going to be okay.
I’m a person. I am a person on hard times. I am a person who has had the rug snatched out from under me. I am a person who’s life has been turned upside down.
Yet I am still the same person that checks on you even when I’m not doing well. The same person who loves you despite your flaws. The same person that will give you my last despite having little of nothing. The same person that is slow to speak when I’m having a bad day so that I don’t take it out on you. I’m still your person!
It hurts that now I am an invisible and disposable person because my life is upside down.
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