As I answer every call providing encouragement, companionship, and love; do you see me dying before your eyes?

As I struggle to come to you do you see that I can barely stand? That my joints ache? That my knees are buckling? That I can’t feel my feet?

Do you realize that with every step that I take pain that is like fire in my bones shooting through my body?

When you insist on texting instead of taking my calls do you even remember that I can’t feel my fingers? That my hands are cramping up? Or that my shoulders hurt so bad that I struggle to hold my phone?

Ever wonder why I wear the same five outfits repeatedly? No it’s not all that I have, but it’s what hurts the least. Do you know that taking a shower brings tears to my eyes because the water feels like shards of glass cutting through my skin? That I struggle to sleep because the sheets hurt… oh yeah and zippers are nearly impossible.

BUT, when you need me I am here! When you are weak I pray and console you. I wear a smile in my voice and manage to tell a joke or two to lighten your mood. I give you my shoulder to lean on when you cry and even wipe the tears from your eyes physically and sometimes virtually.

Do you know that I go days with no one to talk to? I make go a week with no human interaction. What shoulder do I have to lean on? Can’t tell you how infrequently I’m embraced.

My illnesses and symptoms are VERY real, I suffer everyday. But because you don’t see them, they aren’t a reality to you and my suffering goes unnoticed… as I slowly die before your eyes.

©Tracylily 2016 All Rights Reserved

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