Imagine living your entire married life in a fishbowl, for all of the world to see and scrutinize.

Imagine the constant following of the media…not only for your spouse, who is a public figure, but for you and your underaged children.

Imagine early one Sunday morning not only losing your husband and your child, but for it to be broadcasted on every channel ALL day.

Imagine your family and close friends gaining the knowledge of the loss through social media or television.

Imagine having to mourn the loss of your beloved child and husband under the watchful eyes of the world!!!

Wait now imagine that your last name is Altobelli… Chester… Mauser… Zobayan… and early this same Sunday morning you also suffered a loss of a mother, father, daughter, sister…

Imagine your loved ones are Refferred to as … “And eight other passengers, died”.

Imagine your family finding out on social media as well or by the smut reporting of none other than the calloused and insensitive reporting of TMZ.

I can’t begin to imagine any of this and I pray to never have to walk in these shoes. But if God does decide for something similar to be my fate, I would hope that people would take at least a few moments to consider me and my family before speaking out of their ignorance.

I pray for all families affected by this tragedy. I pray for the friends and loved ones as well.

I ask that before the onlookers and so called fans weigh in with their opinions and statements that they would take a moment to imagine… imagine it were you and yours.

© Tracylily 2016 All Rights Reserved

“Reality bites”, a phrase I’ve heard from time to time. I didn’t follow the meaning until life applied it to mine.

Scrolling through family photos that captured moments in time. My nostalgic warm and fuzzies ended as thoughts flooded my mind.

Vast majority memories of the “sisters” beautiful and fine was missing something… the face unaccounted for was sadly mine.

My mother has four girls yet the memories to be passed on only depict three. Yep that unaccounted sister is yours truly, unimportant me.

As a teen I was a runner, when things got to my level of unbearable, I would remove myself and flee.

For those years I get it. Understandably, out of sight out of mind… so no pictures would have been captured of me at that time.

Yet as adults birthdays, holidays, or just times of hanging out, still no records of me; I sit here with a pout.

I’ve tried to make mends, still in the family tree, most wont even notice the missing branch, yeah me.

I guess it’s pretty easy to look right over me, even when with the sisters the odd ball is me. I act as if I don’t care, I hide my tears from any to see.

Reality is I don’t have anywhere that I fit, no family unit that claims that I am a part. I guess I brought it on myself but it still hurts my heart.

Inside I scream “save a spot for me”, the biting part is all is well in the world with just the three.

So I’ll get back comfortable I’m the shadows, the place where secrets and embarrassment lurk. Smiling on the outside,yet inside truly hurt.

Not invited to participate while the youngest walk that aisle and say I do. Know that on that day I will day a prayer for you.