My eyes are clouded with tears more often than anyone would think.

My heart the carrier of hurt, disappointment, and pain… things heavier than my words can speak.

Some think I’m lazy, dismissive, and aloof, truth is the heaviness of all that I carry is breaking me, behind my eyes is the proof.

Life is not meant to live alone, yet I do each and everyday. For days, weeks, sometimes months not another human comes my way.

My heart is heavy. I don’t really know what to pray. I’m in battle with these demons, constantly rebuking what they say.

My soul is crying out, it has the loudest of cries. Yet nobody hears me or sees the tears flooding my eyes.

If the darkness were to take me away from this isolated place… would anyone even notice?? I seriously do doubt it for mine is an unmissed face.

I tell myself it will get better that there are those that really do care. But I know that I’m just lying to myself and no one for me is really there.

With the holidays upon us the loneliness is even the more loud. What I wouldn’t give not to be alone in the worlds crowd.

Oh well, today’s another day that no one will bother to notice that I am really not okay.

© Tracylily 2016 All Rights Reserved

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